I believe in staying true to myself no matter how much evil or how many bullies I encounter. I don't believe in the saying: If you can't beat them, join them. I refuse to be like them because I like to help people, not put people down. To me, it's really important to stay kind, honest, respectful and believe in yourself no matter who tries to humiliate you and make you feel bad about yourself. I also believe in sticking up for yourself no matter who's trying to bully you, but I also know when to quit to avoid so much negativity cloud and take over my days...I felt my light was getting dimmer and dimmer having to deal with so many mean, fake and abusive people every week and it just isn't worth it. I felt as if I was stuck in a tiny little box that was sealed from the outside and I couldn't open it from the inside! I started having anxiety attacks, reeeeally bad insomnia and a day before "the day", I ended up in the Emergency Room with chest pains and shortness of breath. It felt like no matter how hard I worked or what I tried to do, it was never going to be enough for them because they would look for any little thing to try to get me in trouble and make it hell for me and ironically, in a place that should be a fun place to work at. I used to really, really, really loooove the store so thats the part that makes me the saddest.
Anyway, so I need my job really bad, but my health is way more important and I shouldn't keep putting it in the back burner. Once, one of the bullies told me that I'm weak, but it actually takes alot of courage to stand up to bullies and it also takes alot to get out of the situation especially if you need the job. Many employees are experiencing the same thing and they were there when I left so I'm hoping they soon realize they are better than that and do not deserve to be humiliated like that, even if they need the money.
That same night that I quit, I felt that I could once again take in deep breaths and it felt like CLEAN, fresh air. I also felt my creativity come back! These past months, I couldn't even get inspired, it felt like there was some sort of mental block and I also didn't have the energy to make any crafts because I didn't feel like doing anything. The recent crafts I made were work related, I was told to do them so I had to, but I was no longer enjoying it. I craft for fun and I definitely wasn't crafting for fun anymore. Especially because who I was crafting for!
Now, I feel a big sense of relief and I'm really looking forward to the next chapter in my life.
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